Really penning it down
For my own sake I need to be clearer. I have realised my defined standards are very vague leaving too much room for interpretation even on my side. As I am traipsing around quite uncertain if I am maintaining them or not? So how do I go about figuring out what I want and what I really want my standards to be? It is easy to say maintain your standards but how if you are quite uncertain yourself regarding what they exactly are?
I for one would like the following things:
- Presence, someone who wants to spend time with me and enjoys my company
- Manners, opens the door for me, lets me walk-in first, pulls the chair out for me
- Spoils me, treats me to little things, takes notes of my wishes, does me little favours
- Kind and Caring, listens to me, helps me, nurtures me
- Communication, talks to me, shares their worries and daily little things
- Hard working, is willing to work on the relationship as much as me
- Honesty, fears not to talk about anything and everything with me, shares information with me
- Loyalty, we have each others backs and do not stab each other in the back
- Respect, accepts and sticks to my needs, boundaries, desplay that in his behaviour
- Reliabilty, I can count on him to stick to his words and when I need him he will be there
Obviously all that I am requesting will apply to me offering in return.
Rules to live by
As a lady I am begging and groveling why?
That is a habit that has been pointed out to me. Supposedly I give men too many chances. I have come to realise the worst point is, I put myself down by negotiating when bad behaviour is presented towards me. A lady would never accept bad behaviour would she?
In the future the iron lady will rule. Have you ever realised that when we do not like someone or are only remotely interested in them it is very easy to apply standards, as you do not care for rejection. However, when we are smitten with a person we start lowering our standards, negotiating and sometimes even accepting bad behaviour. Why?
Out of self-worth and respect we should not falter.
Clarifying the standards:
- 2 Strikes and you are out rule, fool me once shame one you, fool me twice shame on myself
- Treating all the same, no matter how interested or not I am they will all get the same treatment for the same conduct
- Rewarding good behaviour, compromises on thing I am not too excited about will be granted for good performance
- Punishment, freez-out, igronace for bad behaviour, will be a dish served cold to the non-compliant
- Never budge or Negotiate, standards are standards
- Carry myself like a lady, always maintain poise and mystery
I hope that these points and me taking the time to really sit down and think about what I want will have a positive effect and reaffirm my own conduct and the way I carry myself.
Rome was not built in a day!