Forced to stand down
So much for my plan. The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
No lent for me this year. My body decided to capitulate yesterday following my workout from Wednesday. I slowly felt weakness creeping into my limbs followed by dizziness. That then being the moment I decided for myself the plan was not suited anymore.
I do see it as defeat but not as failure. I was told failure is how you define something!
Being able to admit something is wrong, you have lost, plans didn’t work out – should not be considered failure, defeat maybe, but mostly strength. Most importantly I listen to what my body had to say and handled accordingly in the right time. That is not failure.
All the years before lent was never combined with sport so it was a pure mind game. Now adding a 3 times a week fitness regime takes the game to a whole new level!
I was told failure is how you define something!
Mind, BODY and Soul
Okay, so I admit fitness and total starvation really does not work. I do daily interim fasting which does work, as I do get nutrients but total fasting is a no-no. I have learnt to pay more attention to my body and soul this last year. I have started to workout again after a long break and I have tweaked my eating habits. I try to eat things that have the least possible amount of weird additives. So, I will be the girl standing in the isle of the shop reading labels. I do not believe in eating things that I cannot pronounce or grasp what it even is. I try to eat wholemeal, veggies, legumes, fruit, dairy, little fish and meat. With little I mean once fish, max twice meat. More you do not really need.
In my depression, I was told to move and eat healthy, as it would help. I think the expression on my face was of utter sarcastic gratification to my psychologist. The problem with depression is everything is an uphill battle with weights on. So why would you attempt that? I knew there was truth in what I was told but the impact it would have was hard to imagine.
Funnily I always feel energised and revitalised after working out. Not at all slumped or deflated. Plus the combination of working out and eating healthy has given me so much. I have a better posture from working out, I am lighter, My soul even feels lighter. The healthy food makes me happy. There is nothing like looking forward to wholemeal avocado toast with sprouts, salt and pepper, as well as tomatoes on top. The thought of eating that just makes me smile.
I love food in a whole new different way. It is less obsessional.
My eating habits in the depression were a far cry from healthy, sugary, white, fatty. I felt driven as in I never got enough. I still believe it had a lot to do with my antidepressants but also my depression itself.
Now I pay attention to what I fancy. I believe our bodies tells us what it needs. Sometimes the station signal just gets scrambled.
I think the expression on my face was of utter sarcastic gratification to my psychologist. The problem with depression is everything is an uphill battle with weights on. So why would you attept that?