Dancing to a new confid(a)nce

Forget baby steps – Full blown Va Va Voom

Lacking creativity in my work I decided to embark into a new field of art for myself with the prospective idea of having that as a paying job. Enrolling myself not just into intense training but into a more mischevious me. Anyone who knows me will laugh at that sentence as they would probably find the amplified mischievousness a little much ;). However for me, my confidence and dysmorphia it does wonders.

After basically a months training getting thrown on centre stage seems a bit rough. I find it inspiring and stimulating trying to put on the best performance in such a short time, no experience and lots of flaws. As our dance teacher told me – rock the show and act confident then no one will know. So I am working out like mad to get my desired fitness level but as well to not mess up the performance. After 4 hours of dance on Sunday, my knees still burning. I use every moment to rehearse. So if you see this funny person dancing at the bus stop it will most likely be me.
For the second time, I am consuming life to its fullest. Funnily that happens after every rabbit hole I fall down, afterwards, I come out totally parched of life wanting it all. I cannot get enough, it is as if being depraved fuels some fire within.
I am slowly back to my old energetic self that has confidence. I never lost the sass and the fire as that is me, but I made myself susceptible to people treating me badly, which when healthy does not happen.
People’s reactions toward me have changed too. I believe that has to do with my change mental state, obviously my slimmer self, my changed attitude and how I carry myself.

It is as if being depreaved fuels some fire within

Even the blow

For the future, I would like to be able to even out the blows. I need a form of emergency pack with a mental checklist to avoid travelling too far down the whole or even putting a foot in it. I forgot how much a depression nocks your confidence to nil – inexistence as persona is desired. I am still not quite sure what came first, the growing confidence or the way out? Plus I myself am not quite sure what the solution was or the sign that pointed the way out. I have an inkling it might be setting your mind to it and going for it.

Setting your mind to it and going for it

I am a go-getter, a stand-up dust yourself off, giving up is not an option person. I am a romantic as well – I believe the good will win and it has. If not what is the point? Why bother fighting?
At the moment I am enjoying my life again.
For anyone feeling down or suffering at the moment let me tell you; I have been there, it will get better. It is a phase you have to pull through but at the end of this marathon, there is the best reward- enjoying life again.

It is a phase you have to pull through but at the end of this marathon there is the best reward- enjoying life again.

Published by

Sarah

#mentalhealthambassador All the ruminations on this page belong to moi. I am not a certified psychologist or psychiatrist. It is not my intention to force my opinions, ideals, ideas upon you or tell you what to do. This page was created to inspire you, enforce you and hopefully guide you. I am a on a quest to self-fullfillment for a happy, healthy, sporty and adventurous life. By being curious and open-minded I encounter myself, others and the world that sorrounds me in ever changing ways that inspire me. I would like to help reduce the stigma still clinging to mental health. The vessel I choose to transport my message is this blog. This Blog is love and a lot of soul. It is a journey through my realm. A soul striptease. My focus lies on a healthy lifestyle and the awareness movement. To see the change be the change!

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