Does following your dreams mean letting people down?
Lately, there have been claims that I have dropped off the face of the earth. The thing is I have not, I am just super busy and I started to choose myself over others sometimes without losses. Selfish maybe, mostly just hedonistic.
Enjoying the abundance of possibilities that life is offering me, from being deprived after a long time I do not want to regret missing out. As in hindsight the things not done rendered by fear, lack of time, lack of funds, or anything falling into that category will only haunt you. You will regret not at least dipping your metaphorical toe into the water.
So am I letting people down? – probably. Most importantly not myself!
With a little more effort from my side in terms of organisation and being thoughtful towards the feelings of others. There should not be a problem. I will have to adjust my totalitarian mindset to a more overall encompassing one, as the primary thought has been me, which when wanting to maintain friendships and relationships will not get you very far. I know it sounds selfish but we live in a self-centred world, where survival of the most egoistic (fittest) is rewarded. I am actively trying to battle this habits with the help of my surroundings and I am very thankful for anyone flagging me.
At the end of the day, I would like to be known as a kind, caring and giving person that considers others and their feelings. I am very fortunate to be born into an industrial country with a health system to support me with banishing my personal demons. I am fortunate I have a roof over my head, food on my plate and people who care. It does not diminish my agony or my illness it just aides it and makes it more bearable.
Following the true meaning of hednoism achieving the maximum pleasure and avoiding any pain.