Where out thou good old times
I remember more or less making plans to travel to Canada about 13 years ago to meet friends. I have the feeling that in those days people were more committed. I did not have to deal with people flacking off or changing their mind last minute. Mind you I cannot complain too much myself as my best friend has had some stern words regarding that matter in relation to myself. When did we become this society where we forget each other and are egocentric? I have a feeling it has become more but is it just my perception?
I know I have become more chaotic since I do not take my OCD seriously anymore so being organised and on top has become a bit of a problem. Furthermore, the problem also stems somewhat from my overflowing calendar and wanting to do everything. I should face the fact I cannot multiply myself. So how do we go about fulfilling our needs and the needs of others? How do I get others to understand my needs and what I expect of them?
The only solution is communication, clear communication. You are not doing anyone a favour you are doing it for yourself, standing in for your needs. Okay, you are also making other peoples lives easier by communicating clearly, but the main driver should be asking for what you need in a clear and respectful manner.
When did we become this society where we forget each other and are egocentric?
I do see the irony in the text above the blockquote and then the blockquote itself. I do not believe that they should exclude each other though. Asking for something in a clear and respectful manner does not mean you are selfish. Selfish is when you try to force people to do what you want and/or your trying to manipulate them into to doing what you want even if they said no. Selfish is also when you do not consider other peoples feelings before making a request that is unnecessary in terms of they will say no anyhow and you know from the beginning will only upset them.
L like in learning
Self-reflection and communication is my strength but that does not always necessarily mean I know what I want or how to communicate what I want appropriately. I was even worse before. I used to be unable to request what I needed from people. It is something you have to actively train just like a muscle. After all the brain is the most powerful muscle we possess. I trained to get here. I trained asking for things and being confident. I was not always like this.
I would suggest starting with a simple request that you find hard to place and choose people you are really comfortable with like close friends or family and then start building up from there.
A lot in life especially when it comes to fulfilling your needs is stepping out of the comfort zone, demanding what you want and not being shy about it. It is not about being powerfull, it is about giving yourself the possibility to get what you need. The worst thing that can happen is that somebody says no. With that in mind you will feel much better and if that does not work subjecting yourself to rejection will lighten the blow, in the long run, trust me. Meaning with every rejection you receive it will become easier. Exposition training for the fear of being rejected.
With that said, I do not mean be an egocentric, follow my own agenda, screw everyone else kind of person. No! I mean ask people, stand up for your needs and also accept if people cannot give you what you need. Step away without drama and look elsewhere.
Treat others the way you want to be treated!