Sticking to standards
Giving people second chances or multiple ones is human but far from sensible.
I give certain friends far too many chances and let my standards slip, while making up excuses for why they behaved that way, in doing so I am only letting myself down. For the future, I have now taken this new mantra (5+5=10 always) to heart so that I can check myself before I wreck myself. Seriously I need an easy mantra to live by or question that I can ask myself in situations to evaluate if I am letting my standards slip because if it is too complicated I will just forget it again. Now if I am uncertain if I am living up to my own standards I will simply ask myself does this equal ten? Am I actually sticking to my standards?
For the future I have now taken this new mantra to heart so that I can check myself before I wreck myself.
I am worth more time and attention. I am worth being treated kindly and with respect. I am worth having my needs accepted and taken seriously. Then why do I put up with such neglecting behaviour? As I like that person! But is it worth it? Maybe not as it is just stressing me out or in the worst case making me sad.
I have two friends which are ruthless in that matter and I admire them for it. They tend to suffer far less then I do.
So from this day forward, the standards are to be maintained always for my own sanity.
So how do I define my standards
To have standards to follow I need to know what I want and how I want to be treated. Defining standards can be just as hard as sticking to them. They should basically reflect who you are and what you need from people to feel secure, treated with respect and be happy.
To give you a few examples here are some of my own:
- Valuing myself (sticking up for myself/not selling myself short)
- I do not lower my standards to accept other people’s behaviour
- Acknowledge my critic
- Listen to my needs (actions speak louder than words)
- Just get in touch from time to time (Do I honestly need to chase you?)
- Treat me like you would like to be treated
- Not falling for an illusion of people
- Not bending backwards to please people
- Not putting up with peoples bs
- I do not deal with people that do not know what they want
- Overvaluing people
This list is meant for any interaction with humans may it be project related, friendship, love life etc.
5 plus 5 always equals ten