I needed to take an out time from here to come to terms with the unexpected death of my cat. I know for some it might sound trivial but this animal helped me through a lot of my grief and my depression.
Love at first sight
After having a quiet period to recuperate from all the loss of the last years, I have unfortunately been faced with the mortality of my beloved cat that I had rescued from the shelter. I had my fluffy friend to help me with all the losses sustained.
I remember seeing him on the placement programme like it was yesterday. He was this impressive big cat that constantly was miaowing. Very handsome and impressive. So after not being able to shake the thought of him a week later, I called the animal shelter. They were very happy that at least one person had taken interest as he was old and too noisy according to them to appeal to anyone.
We drove one hour to see him and decide if it fits. I would say he chose me as much as I chose him. It was love at first sight. I got a massive headbutt as a welcome and as if that was not enough he did what my old cat used to do he held my hand with his paw. After that, it was a done deal.
You will remain in my heart forever
Helping each other
The first two days were a trial for my nerves as he would shout constantly. I had come to the end of my tether a few times but I had made a promise that this was his forever home. He did calm down after the first two days but was still very agitated and would start wheezing quite often. After an array of check-up it turned out the cat suffered from panic attacks and that he had not just a kidney problem but a huge infection in his jaw with rotting teeth due to the neglect of the previous owner who suffered from depression.
I went the whole hog and got all of it fixed. Then he started to change for the better he still remained demanding but the shouting reduced itself. The more used he became to me and the more he trusted me the less panicked he was. Till one day the panic attacks stopped. In the end, he was very me focused and thankful. We did a lot for each other. He helped me through one of the toughest times in my life. We needed each other, the affection, security and attention.
I do still regret not realising he was in pain in the last few months, which I am sure he was and that he had cancer. I do feel really guilty about that despite knowing that guilt is a part of grieving. I am just glad he does not need to suffer anymore and that he hopefully enjoyed the last years he had.
My furever friend