It comes in waves
How or when do you know if it is grief or if you are heading towards a depression. It is hard to tell as both have very similar symptoms and grief can slowly transform into a depression. I am closely monitoring myself to avoid spiralling out of control again. I am also trying to counteract it by doing the opposite of what I did last time and what I feel like doing this time (want to stay home and mope on the couch), which is going out and socialising avoiding becoming an hermit.
Sometimes it is okay and I feel good and then around the next corner comes this waves of sadness or emptiness. To be honest I have not slept properly in ten days and feel absolutely exhausted. Unfortunately luck is not on my side at the moment, as the only thing that would cheer me up is out of reach. So I am doing best with what I have and trying to steer clear of the hole. It is so easy to get sucked into it rather then to get your ass up and do something to make you feel better.
Avoiding becoming an hermit
Feel Good Box
I put together a box for rainy days like this. It is a box I enjoy the look of that is filled with colourful little handwritten cards that have things written on them that I enjoy and make me feel better. So when I feel down I draw a card and see what it suggests. Obviously the idea is not to pull 100 as you will always find a reason to opt out of things when depressed or down. It is three strickes and you are out.
I find the it really helpful as I do not need to think of things which can be a challenge when you are sad. It gets me doing things instead of moping around which is paramount when you are down. It instantly cheers me up.
It is a box I enjoy the look of that is filled with colourful little handwritten cards that have things written on them that I enjoy and make me feel better.
Grieving is the time to be selfish
In a time like this there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is very individual every person handles it differently. I think the most important part is to follow what works for you and feels natural even if it is not what is perceived to be correct by society.
I know I am being selfish right now and I hope the people in my surroundings can accept and understand I have to handle it my way and the way that is right for me even if they feel locked out or ignored.
In a time like this there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is very individual every person handles it differently