What is going on?
In the wake of things, it has become painstakingly obvious that self-sabotage is my biggest flaw. What do you do when you realise you are your own worst enemy?
Our mind is a powerful tool, which when used the wrong way can lead to all sorts of ills. For instance, we start imagining things and believing they are real when they actually only stem from your own imagination. Illusion as the foundation for all evil. If you do not have the facts and you let your mind run riot…
Our mind is a powerful tool….
You know you have lost your mind, when…
I went a bit crazy last week and start imaging things to my dismay, dragging people into the vortex of my crazy mind. I ended up winding myself up more and more till I actually reached the point of break down. Not as bad as in the past years during my depression but bad enough to feel like I had harmed myself.
I was really saddened by the realisation that it had mainly stemmed from my own imagination. The enemy was me.
This not being the first time I had encountered this situation and I am really bent on getting this fixed as I for sure do not want to deal with this again and again or it to become a chronic coping mechanism.
Fear is the worst leader to follow. It will either inhibit you or worse drive you and in the worst case, it will devour you. I am sure you are all aware of the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy where what you focus on you attract. Meaning if you dread something and focus on it you will ironically attract exactly that.
The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true. This specious validity of the self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates a reign of error. For the prophet will cite the actual course of events as proof that he was right from the very beginning.
And so the behaviour manifests itself.
Well, meet the master. It is now obvious to me I have a problem and it will go on to my list of things to tackle in therapy. I never used to have this or at least not to this extent and I was blissfully unaware.
Solving your problems
There are many ways to tackle problems but all of them have certain things in common:
- To know you have a problem you need to realise you have one
- You need to be willing to do something about it
- Either you know the solution and if not do not be scared to ask for help
- Work on it, train the brain, perfect it, work on yourself
I am at stage three. I have half of the solution so I will go looking for the other half.
However, you should never be ashamed to ask for help or for acknowledging your flaws as it is not a weakness but a strength. Being true to yourself and seeing yourself for who you really are with all your facets is the most powerful thing.
You are you and all you do, all you want to change should be for you. The change you make for yourself is your biggest gift you can give yourself, as you do it for only you.