Alpha in the group
Yesterday I went to my usual Wednesday meetup of about 50 people. There I have my specific group of people which I talk to but I also try to mingle with new people and make new friends. Sitting in a group, as usual, I realised that as soon as I left the group it fell to pieces and went quiet, but upon return to the non-existent table the constellation reappeared; social glue or the alpha woman syndrome.
Have you ever noticed that people in groups always have a ringleader? An alpha that rules the conversation and leads it? You can spot them quite easily by looking at who everybody’s feet are pointing too. Usually, when that person leaves there is a vacuum within the group, everybody starts looking lost till someone else takes over or the lot disperses. I have found myself in this role a lot of times. I enjoy being the social glue the one giving the inputs for the conversations to flow, the levelling the playing field and the bringing together people of all different mindsets. Sometimes I bring the glue and sometimes it is the fire I bare.
Fire or glue what do you want?
Or the root of all evil
Talking about ringleader, when some event gets out of hand and because of suggestive jokes made by you, are you the root of all evil or are the people executing what you said as a joke the ones at fault?
There is a shitstorm brewing online because a girl I know slapped a guys butt at the last meet up. This super macho took to his social media to vent on this, which to be quite frank is a joke. The situation honestly got mainly out of hand because he got angry, did not say no and then only got more out of hand because both of them do not know when to stop. However, I find his tirade questionable as this self-proclaimed strong man takes to the web to let out his anger instead of making up there and then just by saying no. Why do men have problems accepting no? Let’s not mention using the word no to tell somebody when enough is enough!
Complaining later online because your ego is damaged and you have pondered on this for a week is sad. Why have people forgotten how to solve problems face to face like adults rather than venting on social media?
What is up with this I am a victim lullaby for minor failings of another? Crying out me too is becoming excessive from both sides and I am happy when both finally come to their senses. I still believe the exorbitant use of it leads to the degradation of the real victims like in the story of the boy that cried wolf one too many times.
Crying wolf too many times harms the real victims!