Attention, focus, where?
Do you ever get the feeling that you can’t shift the type that sticks around like something’s in your teeth? I find that enticing depending on who we are talking about. Feeling a little like honey for the bees at the moment, which is entertaining as I am independent and enjoy being at a good point with myself and aiming my focus there. I am taking pleasure in and sucking up the beauty of life from the morning dew that sticks to the grass before the heat, to the ripples on the water formed by stones hitting it, from the wind blowing through the leaves and the wonderful forceful storms that roll over us at night, whilst helping others grow and find their path.
I have learnt that life is like a river, sometimes it is still flowing, sometimes an unpredictable force, that makes its own choice where to flow by right of passage. Manoeuvring its way across the landscape taking with whatever it wants whilst channelling its way moving forward.
Me and the river have things in common we flow at our own pace and in our own way. As life is not predictable and inevitably does not always go the way we want it to the secret to having a comfortable life is going with the flow and seeing where life takes you. Why bother forcing things? I have for too long with a minimal income to output given.
Do you ever get the feeling that you can’t shift the type that sticks around like something’s in your teeth?
Remembering the past
But why do people come back, what is their agenda? You are asking yourself why am I thinking about an agenda? Well everybody has an agenda. Behind everything we do, there is an agenda. Anyone denying that fact is being dishonest.
What is your agenda?
I have been dealing with someone for far too long that has a recurring pattern of coming closer and then pushing away. Actually, I can name a few in the past that did this. I know it is down to his reactive attachment disorder steming from the long hospital stays as a child, but if in inhibits you and ruins your relationships to others and puts them under emotional turmoil you should really get it sorted. However, with this one, it is very apparent to me what he is doing, despite his belief that I do not. He believes he is in control and controlling me. He does not realise I have had him sussed out all along, but to be quite honest I am at the end of my tether. I do not want to have to play games with someone who is immature, unhappy and has self-esteem issues that they let out on me. I want someone who wants me, treasures me, enjoys my company, can offer security and just lets a relationship grow naturally without overanalysing or forcing something.
I want someone who wants me, treasures me, enjoys my company, can offer security and just lets a relationship grow naturally without overanalysing or forcing something.
It is easy to say all this being in a position of contement but I worked to get here. All the sweat, pain and tears that flowed into getting here are not visible and the emotional scars are healing. They will take some time but man I fought to get here. When I did not know what to do or how to get here, I got myself help. So please do it for the people who surround you and have to put up with you, but most of all do yourself the favour and get yourself help. Life is too short and nice to waste it on petty games, hurting and harming yourself and others.
Life is too short and nice to waste it on petty games, hurting and harming yourself and others.